We receive loads of emails from guys who want to know how to ask a girl out, while increasing their chances of success. In fact, since we get asked this question so often, we created this article to answer it.
Asking a girl out can — for most guys — be one of the most nerve-racking steps in the dating process. That’s why we’re giving you some proven tips on how to ask a girl out in a way that will increase your overall rate of success, while putting less pressure on both you and her.
All of us can remember a time when we met a girl who just blows us away.
Maybe you met her at work… maybe at school… or maybe just through your social circle. She’s just your type — feminine, cute and sexy. And you know… if you could just ask her out on a date and spend some time alone with her, sparks would fly.
But How Do You Do That?
Well… you do what seems logical. You treat her nicely every time you see her — like a princess. You make her laugh. You ask her questions to learn more about her. And you treat her as well as any girl could ever possibly be treated.
And What Happens?
When you finally muster up the courage to ask her out… she tells you, “I don’t like you in that way” or, “I like you as a friend”. She even tells you that you’re a “nice guy”.
Then, a couple of weeks later, she’s dating a bad-boy who doesn’t seem to give a crap about her. Yet, she’s all over him like Winnie the Pooh over a jar of honey.
It Makes No Sense, Does It?
Trust me. I know what it feels like.
For years, I experienced the same thing over and over… never managing to comprehend why things happened this way. Needless to say, I had no idea how to ask a girl out on a date.
But… I decided I would “get this”. And I’ve spent the last three years of my life learning how to successfully maneuver through the minds of women. I’ve been on hundreds of dates… approached and flirted with thousands of girls… and I’ve learned that the way most men view dating is completely wrong.
Every day, I meet and help guys learn how to have more success with girls. And I see them making the same mistakes over and over… oblivious to why they are not getting the results or the responses they desire.
It’s tough to accept this. But what we’ve always thought to be right is actually mostly wrong. And because of this, we’re ruining our own chances without even knowing it.
However, you should know now… there are proven ways to boost your chances of success with girls. We’re happy to share that with you. And, just by implementing these tips, you’ll be one step closer to getting that date with the girl of your dreams.
Laying The Groundwork…
When most guys meet a girl who they feel really attracted to, the often completely forget about creating the spark — the romantic tension. They display way too much interest. They try to take the interaction to a new level. And they try to get a woman to date then. All without there being any real reason why that should happen.
That’s like trying to take a shot at the goal, before you’ve crossed the centerline. Unless you’re David Beckham, your chances of success are slim.
Nevertheless, it is not actually that difficult to ignite that little spark, and create that intangible chemistry. Nature has set the courtship rituals in place. You don’t have to work any magic.
With that in mind… here are some simple tips, for setting yourself up as an interesting potential partner in her mind.
1. Start Small
Many guys show way too much interest early on, and come off as too eager.
Start by just saying “hello” or “hi” to her each day, and have small chats when you pass each other. She will view you as a sociable and friendly guy. And she’ll feel comfortable talking with you.
2. Tease Her
Though it may seem counter intuitive to adults, the same teasing we employed so much when we were children is still highly effective in dating. By all means, you shouldn’t kick her in the shins and run. But… tease her in a flirtatious way.
Find a feature that you can make light-hearted jokes about. Or find a nickname for her that is funny. By doing this, you’ll create a unique bubble of fun for just the two of you. And this can be very powerful to create that tension between the two of you.
One great thing you can do is… misinterpret what she says in a sexual manner. (I often thought this would come across as offensive. But after seeing how they lit up when I did it, this has become a staple for me).
3. Don’t Be Too Nice
Make no mistake: women appreciate gentlemen who treat them with respect and kindness. But many men misinterpret this as meaning that women should be treated like they are of higher value.
If you are always being the nice guy, she will like you — but only as a friend.
Women want a man who has an edge. Not the kind of guy who gives her extra attention that he wouldn’t give his other friends — especially when he just does it to seek her approval.
They also tend to walk on eggshells rather than openly flirt with her, for fear of offending her in some way. This is completely counterproductive to any future romantic liaison and comes across as weak.
Stand your ground.
Voice your own opinion. Disagree with her. Get in touch with your inner cheekiness, and tease her and flirt with her openly. As long as you do it in a respectful and non-intrusive way, she will love you for it. And it will set you apart from other men who kiss her backside at every chance they get.
Next time you’re talking to her… disagree with her on some points and stand your ground. This is very attractive to girls as it demonstrates you have a solid foundation as a potential mate.
You can even do this when you actually agree with her. It works as a tease when you finally do reveal to her that you agreed all along… as you got her all worked up just for your own amusement. It shows you’re comfortable with not pleasing her all the time, and that you’re a man of your own opinions.
4. Find Commonalities
While talking with her, you should always look for things that you and her have in common. They are easy conversation subjects and help further craft your “little world” together. By taking note of similar things or activities that you like, you also have a good excuse to ask her out by suggesting you do one of those things together.
Finding these things are easy.
Whenever you’re chatting with her, tell her about some of the things you like to do on your spare time and then ask her what she likes. Before long, on of you will spot a commonality that you can build a longer conversation on.
How To Ask Her Out
If you’ve properly laid the groundwork… you should hopefully be noticing her displaying some signs that she is interested in you. They might be obvious. They might be subtle. Or, you might not even notice anything at all.
Just remember… nothing ventured, nothing gained. You just have to be a man and take action by asking her out.
The easiest and most natural way to do this would be to have a conversation with her as usual. During your talk, bring up one of the things you have in common and suggest that you should do it together once — since you both share the same interest.
One more thing.
Assume success. Don’t so much ask her. Rather, give and offer and assume she’s going to take it. Women love a man with confidence, who is willing to lead. Don’t ask her the usual questions, like… “Could I have your number?” or, “Would you like to go on a date with me?” Instead, just say:
“Let’s go do XYZ. I’ll pick you up at 7 pm, we’ll have fun.”
This puts far less pressure on both you and her. If she accepts… then congratulations, you stud! All you have to do now is work out the logistics, and exchange contact information. And before you know it, the two of you will be out on a date — flirting, laughing and sharing a hot passionate kiss as the evening progresses.
What you’ve read here is really just the tip of the iceberg. We save all our best advice for our inner circle of email subscribers. And if you’re at all serious about getting this area of your life handled, you need to get on our list immediately.